Self Esteem by Nuala Duignan

Good Self esteem is one of the most essential components of a human being's personality. It is basically the image you have of yourself in your own opinion. You have a good opinion of yourself, you have high self- esteem, you have a bad opinion of yourself, you have a low self- esteem.  It is the foundation of our life and something that helps us immensely in living a life that is worthwhile. Until and unless you believe in yourself and your abilities it is almost impossible to achieve success in any walk of life. In other words, we simply need to value ourselves for what we are and what we are capable of rather than wanting to be what we are not.

Low self esteem, on the other hand will affect all areas of life including our career, work, family, relationships, social life, health and what not. It creates an overall unfulfilling feeling whereas on the contrary high self esteem gives us immense confidence and belief that I am sure has the potential to take us a long way in life.  Since we know that this is an extremely important issue and that thousands and thousands of people suffer from low self esteem throughout the world regardless of their health, wealth and knowledge, we need to figure out some important and easy ways of increasing our self esteem. Some of the most effective ways I believe are as follows:

1. Keep a Victory Log
This one is one of my favorite ways of keeping my self-esteem high. Maintain a log book where you jot down all your accomplishments throughout life. It does not matter how big or small your accomplishments may be, you just need to remember what you have accomplished. It maybe the extraordinary skills you possess or the beautiful possessions you have. It might be good grades that you had received or a trophy that you had won. It might be a financial reward that you might have been given or a promotion that you received. It might even have been an approving glance from a person of the opposite sex or the day you scored a hat trick in the school game. It could just be any positive accomplishment that you have made in life.

Just make sure that you have all written in your log book starting today. We all have high and low times and what we need in low times is some spirit lifting. Go through your log book every time you are feeling low or are having any negative thoughts and you will see how this log will give you the great moods once you start thinking of all the good things that have happened to you in life. It simply serves as a reminder of the fact that you have done it before and there is no reason that you will not be able to do it in the present and in the future.

2. Honor Your Abilities
Sit in a quiet place and think of the great abilities and skills that nature has gifted you with. Stop blaming yourself for all the wrong things or even the right things for that matter. Just do not blame yourself. Simply look at the good things and the positive things in your personality and in your life. Be grateful to God for all the great things that you have in yourself and honor it. Remember, if you want the world to honor and love you, you need to honor and love yourself first.

3. Do the right things
Always try to do the right things in life. We all are grown up people and have the conscience to differentiate between the wrong and the right. Make sure that you do your best to do the right things. Believe me you are going to feel a whole lot better when you know that you are doing the things worth doing and the things that are good for your character, health and well being.
To give an example, I personally feel great when I wake up early morning, pray, have a good breakfast, exercise, read the newspaper, work hard, do my daily chores and set my priorities right. I feel that I am doing all the important things that I need to do in order to keep myself energized and to keep my self- esteem at a higher level.

4. Mingle with Positive people
Always mix, meet and mingle with people who are positive and energetic, people who have a positive image about themselves, have confidence in themselves and a positive outlook on life. We need to build our network of friends where we are surrounded by good, enthusiastic, determined and positive people.

5. Be Kind
It is really not possible to feel good about ourselves if we are inconsiderate, mean and selfish. It is essential to treat others with respect and with love. The more respect and love you give, the more you get it back. Everyone has a special quality and a special resource through which one can contribute to life. Be kind, be humble, help the poor, help the under-privileged and be a part of a noble cause whenever and wherever possible in order to be of help and support to the world and at the same time be worthy of respect and value in your very own eyes. This will pick you up and place you on top of the world.

6. Be Honest, hardworking and productive
Another important factor that helps in raising self esteem is to be honest, hardworking and productive. Again it seems quite contrary to have high self esteem when a person is dishonest and unproductive. When one is honest, there is a satisfaction that is felt within him resulting in a great self image. At the same time, it is important to be a hardworking, sincere person that results in high productivity and again leading to high self- esteem.

The above are some of the major ways that you can use to raise yourself image and self-esteem. Always keep in mind that self- esteem is not what others think of you but what you truly believe about yourself. It has to be genuine respect for oneself. In other words it is self respect.

Hal Urban says "Self Esteem is how we genuinely feel about ourselves, regardless of what others say. And how we feel about ourselves is closely related to how our character develops. Ultimately the development of personal character is both a choice and responsibility." Before we conclude, here is a little reminder:
"To establish true self-esteem we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives." Denis Waitley

UNEMPLOYMENT

There’s a part of me that wants to lay down and die; to give in, to accept that it’s too hard; that it will never get better. Thank God, there’s another stronger part that won’t let me let me do that.

It’s the middle of the night and I can’t sleep. I see myself sitting beside the embers of a dying fire; I’m trying to keep warm. I can hear voices outside; I wish they’d come in. I need to be able to tell someone, to share my burden, to offload my fears. I want them to see how difficult this is for me; I want their sympathy. I need their reassurance; I need someone to tell me it will be ok, that it will end soon. I want to be rescued from this nightmare.

I’m so lonely. I’m told there are thousands upon thousands of people like me; but who are they, where are they? I think they’d understand what I’m going through. Nobody else does. I don’t tell people, workers, what it’s like. They don’t want to know. Maybe they’re frightened it will happen to them; maybe that’s why they look bored or change the subject when I try to talk to them about it.

I’ve become a burden; I know I have. I don’t want to be one, but I can’t avoid it. I have to ask for favours; I’ve no other choice. I always need help. I’ve lost my independence; it went with the money. I’ve lost my freedom too. It’s funny, I have so much time; but I can’t afford to do anything with it.

I feel a failure. I’ve let my family down. I can’t give them what they want. I have to say no; sorry. I have to explain, I’d love to, but...I can’t afford it. I hate saying that; it’s like I’m giving in to it, admitting how bad it’s become. I know I have to accept it, but I don’t want to. I don’t want to be unemployed; I want to be at work.

I’m trying so hard. I’ve sent hundreds of emails; I hardly ever get a reply. I’m trying to be imaginative, to think of something, invent something, create an opportunity for myself; but it’s hard when no one responds to my ideas. I’m in a hole; its deep, the sides are sheer. There’s no way out. I need a ladder; I need a leg up. I need a break; but I can’t see where it’s going to come from. Nobody gives breaks anymore. They’re all too busy clinging to what they’ve got; they’ve no time for people like me.

I feel so rejected. Why am I not wanted? What have I done wrong? Can’t they see I’m trying; can’t they give me a chance? But they don’t understand; they don’t care. They pretend to; but it’s only platitudes. If they really cared they’d reply to my emails.

I work really hard to keep myself busy; I have to. If I didn’t, I’d go under. Boredom is my enemy. It wastes my time, dampens my hopes; it ruins my mind and destroys my soul. I have to overcome it. I’m frightened it will lead to depression. I mustn’t let that happen; if it does it will entomb me in a coffin of darkness and pessimism. There’d be no way out then.

But I’m scared; I mightn’t have the strength. I’m terrified I’ll give in. What will happen to me then? What will become of me if I can’t fight anymore; if I stop trying, if I surrender?
“Stay strong; there are people worse off than you,” I talk to myself a lot these days; it’s my only source of comfort. “You’ll get through this; you’ll come out the other end. You always do.”
I hope I’m right. I hope there is an end. I hope it’s not too far away. I pray I can last long enough to reach it.

Copyright © David Jones 2009