Positivity in the Face of Adversity

For so long things had been going so well economically.  There was cheap credit, booming property prices and tremendous jobs growth.  Now, all is changed utterly.  We’ve had the credit crunch, the failure of the banking system and long dole queues.  We have gone from boom to burst and it has affected us all.   It’s like we were sold a false vision of what’s important, and in the process became blinded to what really counts.  We now have a chance to look with new eyes at our lives and what we’re about.  There is more than physical blindness.  There is blindness that comes from self-obsession and a false vision.  We now have the chance to reflect on our values and on what is important to us.  How clear is our vision? 

We must bear in mind though, that all this negative news can get over-emphasised by the media. Fear can act as a means of persuasion. Are you allowing the media persuade you into a doom and gloom mindset? 

We can indeed feel helpless, negative and lethargic, sometimes, even frustrated and resentful by the situations we find ourselves in.  We can live in fear which is determined by circumstances we perceive as beyond our control.  The opposite of powerlessness however is being in control.  An ability to tackle the situation head-on.   It is a calm conviction about who we are and our ability to deal positively with our current situation with success.  Why not begin today, Begin by asking yourself the following three questions:-

1.    Have I got my health this morning that I can get out of bed and live?

2.    What can I do to help others less well off today?

3.    What am I most grateful for in my life?

Those few queries to yourself will help you realise there is more reason to be optimistic than you previously considered.  Why not begin today to become more aware of your blessings.  Instead of remaining in a negative mindset, why not change the mindset to living with joy and positivity. 

Socio Economic shifts have been known to affect health so therefore, it is imperative on each one of us to look after our thought processes thus looking after our health.  We should celebrate the good things which are very often the simple things we have in our lives.

People who did not “buy into” the Celtic Tiger will cope with recessionary times.  They are more aware of aspects of life that have great meaning.

For a personal consultation or if you feel you could benefit from some guidelines on working on the positives in your life, why not give Nuala, Qualified Life and Business Coach a call to arrange a consultation.

Dips.  Life and Business Coaching and Train the Trainer, FETAC Level 6 

Tel. 087  2532675

or info@nualaduignanlifecoach.com

View web site at:

www.nualaduignanlifecoach.com

Whose Recession Is It Anyway? part ii - Telling Family and Friends

I found it hard to accept it when I lost my job. I’d never been unemployed before. Telling family and friends was particularly hard. I felt like a failure.

You’d be amazed at the extent some people go to try to avoid people finding out they’ve lost their job. I answered a phone call at work once from a woman whose husband used to work in my office. He’d been let go about 6 weeks earlier. He hadn’t told anyone, not even his wife. She was phoning the office to tell her husband something important had happened to one of their children. Apparently he was leaving home every morning to go to work as usual, sandwiches and all. If the weather was good, he sat in the park until going home time. If it was raining, he went to the library. The poor woman got an awful shock when we had to explain to her that he didn’t work with us anymore. I have no idea what happened when he got home that night, but my heart went out to both of them.

People don’t want to tell the family because they’re ashamed. They feel a failure. They don’t want to burden them; they don’t want them to worry. The best advice is tell them immediately. They’ve a right to know. You losing your job will affect them almost as much as it affects you. They need to know the effect it’s going to have on them. They need to adjust their lifestyle, cut back. They need to spend less. They have a right to know.

Tell them you’ve lost your job. Tell them you are upset about this, but it’s not the end of the world. Explain things will need to be different. There will be less money, but you’re not going to starve or lose your house and nothing dreadful is going to happen. Reassure them that if you’re all sensible and adjust your spending then everything will work out ok.

Teenage children can find it particularly hard if their parent loses his or her job. They may be reluctant to tell their friend or social circle. Discuss this with them. Explain it isn’t a social stigma to lose your job anymore. Be understanding if they feel embarrassed or ashamed though. Don’t take it personally. They are at a vulnerable stage in their lives, blending in with the crowd and keeping up appearances are important to them.

If other members of the family are working, tell them they are the lucky ones and remind them how valuable jobs are these days. Don’t put pressure on them so they think they have to keep their job at all costs. Don’t prepare them for a guilt trip if they have the misfortune to lose their job in the future.

Coping with a problem on your own is far harder than sharing it with someone else. It may seem unfair to burden other people with your difficulties. Isn’t that what families are supposed to be all about?
‘A problem shared is a problem halved. There’s no problem so big, that it can’t be solved over a cup of tea.’

As for the neighbours, or other members of the golf club, or your mates in the pub? Tell them too. They’ll find out soon enough anyway. They’ll notice the change in your routine. Better to come out straight and tell them, than have them speculating about you behind your back.

Telling other people that you’ve lost your job is good therapy. It helps you get used to the idea and adjust to your new reality. Putting off the evil day just prolongs the agony.

You’d be surprised too how willing people are to help. In my opinion the Celtic Tiger destroyed one of Ireland’s traditional strengths - neighbourliness. Everyone has been so busy chasing the Tiger’s tail. The courtesies that Ireland was famous for have disappeared behind high wrought iron fences, security gates, CCTV and intercoms.

They say every cloud has a silver lining. Maybe this recession will give us back the Ireland that we once knew and loved. Some good must surely come out of all this doom and gloom.

Copyright © David Jones 2009

Second in a five part series. The next installment examines the hurdle of getting a job in today's recessionary times.