Regain Control and Balance in Life

I'm writing this as every news channel is forecasting “doom and gloom” for the economy, not just in this little country of ours, but world wide. You can however manage to “switch out” by recalling nice memories, and simply enjoying a deep breath, always realising that when things seem hopeless there is always chance for optimism and opportunity. When situations seem impossible things can become possible.

It has become an almost iconic sign of our times – the dreaded stress word, yet it is still an epidemic that nobody seems to know that much about. Many people appear to be suffering from it, yet nobody knows exactly what causes it, or why. There is, as yet no magic pill we can pop to make it go away! The general consensus, however, is that it is our body’s non-specific reaction to the demands put on it. Stress seems to affect everyone in different ways – from tension headaches to spot outbreaks of the common cold. So, what can we do about it? This is where the assistance of a Life Coach can benefit you.

What does Life Coaching do?

Life Coaching offers you that time, space and encouragement to focus on yourself, what your difficulties really are, and what you would like to achieve. This process facilitates the possibility of real change in your life.

A Life Coach does not provide the answers, as only you know what changes you need to make. However, coaching encourages you to figure things out for yourself with a view to leaving the past behind and moving towards a more fulfilled future.

What is important to remember is that you set the agenda, not the Coach. This is about your life.

Are there aspects of your life about which you feel you have no choice?

Do you know what is really important to you?

Are you looking over your shoulder all the time at the negative things that happened to you in the past?

Is your happiness something that is going to happen when you achieve this or that or when you retire?

Do you worry a lot about tomorrow, next week or next year?

• Life Coaching is a one-on-one interactive relationship based upon confidentiality and mutual respect where the Coach is a skilled listener hearing all that is said but also that which is unsaid.
  
  
• Your Life Coach prompts you to focus on real issues you may be having and encourages understanding and self awareness.
  
  
• Life Coaching is an ongoing process based upon open communication and it is a means of exploring choices and gaining new perspectives in a safe environment.
  

The reasons for life coaching are the ones bouncing around in your head at this very moment. The question though now, is:- “are you ready for the rewards that come with taking the game of life to the next level?”

Life Coaching is about choosing your goals and taking the necessary route to achieving them.

Nuala Duignan is a Professional Life Coach.

Diplomas in Life and Business Coaching and Train the Trainer, FETAC Level 6

Tel. 087 2532675 or e.mail

info@nualaduignanlifecaoch.com

www.nualaduignanlifecoach.com

Whose Recession Is It Anyway? part ii - Telling Family and Friends

I found it hard to accept it when I lost my job. I’d never been unemployed before. Telling family and friends was particularly hard. I felt like a failure.

You’d be amazed at the extent some people go to try to avoid people finding out they’ve lost their job. I answered a phone call at work once from a woman whose husband used to work in my office. He’d been let go about 6 weeks earlier. He hadn’t told anyone, not even his wife. She was phoning the office to tell her husband something important had happened to one of their children. Apparently he was leaving home every morning to go to work as usual, sandwiches and all. If the weather was good, he sat in the park until going home time. If it was raining, he went to the library. The poor woman got an awful shock when we had to explain to her that he didn’t work with us anymore. I have no idea what happened when he got home that night, but my heart went out to both of them.

People don’t want to tell the family because they’re ashamed. They feel a failure. They don’t want to burden them; they don’t want them to worry. The best advice is tell them immediately. They’ve a right to know. You losing your job will affect them almost as much as it affects you. They need to know the effect it’s going to have on them. They need to adjust their lifestyle, cut back. They need to spend less. They have a right to know.

Tell them you’ve lost your job. Tell them you are upset about this, but it’s not the end of the world. Explain things will need to be different. There will be less money, but you’re not going to starve or lose your house and nothing dreadful is going to happen. Reassure them that if you’re all sensible and adjust your spending then everything will work out ok.

Teenage children can find it particularly hard if their parent loses his or her job. They may be reluctant to tell their friend or social circle. Discuss this with them. Explain it isn’t a social stigma to lose your job anymore. Be understanding if they feel embarrassed or ashamed though. Don’t take it personally. They are at a vulnerable stage in their lives, blending in with the crowd and keeping up appearances are important to them.

If other members of the family are working, tell them they are the lucky ones and remind them how valuable jobs are these days. Don’t put pressure on them so they think they have to keep their job at all costs. Don’t prepare them for a guilt trip if they have the misfortune to lose their job in the future.

Coping with a problem on your own is far harder than sharing it with someone else. It may seem unfair to burden other people with your difficulties. Isn’t that what families are supposed to be all about?
‘A problem shared is a problem halved. There’s no problem so big, that it can’t be solved over a cup of tea.’

As for the neighbours, or other members of the golf club, or your mates in the pub? Tell them too. They’ll find out soon enough anyway. They’ll notice the change in your routine. Better to come out straight and tell them, than have them speculating about you behind your back.

Telling other people that you’ve lost your job is good therapy. It helps you get used to the idea and adjust to your new reality. Putting off the evil day just prolongs the agony.

You’d be surprised too how willing people are to help. In my opinion the Celtic Tiger destroyed one of Ireland’s traditional strengths - neighbourliness. Everyone has been so busy chasing the Tiger’s tail. The courtesies that Ireland was famous for have disappeared behind high wrought iron fences, security gates, CCTV and intercoms.

They say every cloud has a silver lining. Maybe this recession will give us back the Ireland that we once knew and loved. Some good must surely come out of all this doom and gloom.

Copyright © David Jones 2009

Second in a five part series. The next installment examines the hurdle of getting a job in today's recessionary times.