Sunday, 30 August 2009

YOUR WEALTH IS YOUR HEALTH...

David Jones takes a look at how depression may become a growing problem as more and more people lose their jobs during the recession...

It may be an old saying, but how true it is. Your health really is your wealth. Given the present economic doom and gloom scenario though, you might find it works the other way around; your wealth, or rather lack of it, may have serious consequences for your health. One thing’s certainly on the horizon, a lot of people are going to find they have much more control over their health than they do their wealth.

With the dole queues lengthening and the jobless figures forecast to reach the staggering heights of between 400,000 and 500,000 people; it’s time to focus on one of the consequences of this massive rise in unemployment – depression.

Every day our news bulletins announce yet more job losses; 100 jobs gone here, 50 there, 70 somewhere else. Apart from making depressing listening; the news just comes across as figures, anonymous statistics that don’t really sink in. Yet if we stop and think about it for a moment or two, everyone of those job losses is a living person. A father, a mother, grandfather; a son or a daughter; a friend, a neighbour; someone near to retirement, someone young; a family man with kids, a single man or woman living on their own.What must it be like for them?

Losing your job is one of the most traumatic things that can happen in anyone’s life. It ranks alongside bereavement, divorce and separation. When you first get the news that you’re losing your job, two possible reactions might follow. You might break down and become overwhelmed with emotion; it’s as though the news is just too much to bear. Alternatively, you might just go numb. It might seem strange to think that bad news like that might get no real reaction at first. That’s because the body has a natural defense mechanism to protect itself from the shock. It temporarily shuts down to give you time to adjust.

A day or two after the initial reaction to the news, things might drastically change. The person who initially broke down might feel calmer, as if they are getting used to the idea. The person who was initially calm might become overwhelmed with an extreme sense of sadness, anger or anxiety. As you come to a realisation of what’s happened, it might seem like there’s no way forward, no future, no hope.

Depending on your individual circumstances, the initial weeks after losing your job can be very different. If you were lucky enough to get a lump sum redundancy settlement, you might experience a kind of jobless honeymoon. You’ve suddenly got time to do some of things you always wanted to, and you’ve got some money in the bank to let you do them; for a while at least.

If on the other hand, you get laid off with only a week’s notice and no savings, then things can seem very bleak indeed. Feelings of utter desperation could easily overwhelm you.

One of the big problems about this present recession is that many, perhaps even most, people currently losing their jobs have never been unemployed before. It’s a very daunting experience to have to face the dole queue for the first time. Even worse, given the shortage of vacancies and the difficulty of finding another job, then this current brush with unemployment could be much longer than any of us would like to imagine.

The big danger is depression. I don’t mean the odd blue mood; I’m talking about longer term feelings of despair, hopelessness, even suicide. Recent health projections have forecast that within the next ten years, depression will be the second most common debilitating illness after heart disease. Strange thing is, depression was almost unheard of in the 1940’s.

What is it about today’s lifestyles that makes depression such a common problem. One possibility might be that it is not so socially unacceptable to admit to being depressed as it used to be. A lot of work has been done by groups like AWARE to try to remove the social stigma attached to depression. I don’t think social acceptance of depression is anything like as relaxed as it needs to be though. It’s still far too often seen as a weakness by employers and even family members.

“Pull yourself together,” I hear people saying. “Sure, what have you got to be depressed about?” I hear others asking.

The truth is, we really know little about the causes of depression, Some experts would argue it is a chemical imbalance best treated by drug therapy. Others that it relates to traumatic experiences best treated by counselling or psychotherapy.

Whatever the cause, if you find yourself suffering with any of the following symptoms, seek help:
• Lack of interest in life,
• Loss of, or unusually excessive, appetite
• Anxiety or panic attacks
• Unusual irritability
• No interest in looking after yourself
• Cutting yourself off from family and friends
• Excessive drinking
• Thoughts of self harm
• Thoughts of suicide
In the first instance, I would suggest a visit to your doctor. He or she won’t think you’re silly; they will take you seriously, and they will be able to offer help.

Alternatively you could contact AWARE, which is a wonderful organisation that works in the area of depression. If you are suicidal and need someone to talk to, you can phone the SAMARITANS, who are always there to listen.

Copyright © David Jones, 2009

Tuesday, 25 August 2009

That Inner Smile makes the Glass seem Half Full

“The most attractive thing anyone can wear is a smile, something money can’t buy and shops don’t sell! Looking good comes as much from within, Confidence, happiness and joy, that inner beauty”.

Following on from a recent article of mine with the above as the opening statement, a smile is something money can’t buy. Positive attitude comes with a smile! Negative thoughts are infectious. Once you wear a long face, if affects all around you, It is very easy to slip into negative thinking. Optimists have failures too, but they tend to blame the failure on factors that are external to themselves, temporary and specific to this instance. For the negative person however, they claim it is their own fault, and it always happens to them. They take Murphy’s Law to heart, “if it can go wrong, it will”…They look on the glass as always half empty. There are also people who have learnt the behavior of negativity, people who “hide their light/talents under a bushel”. The great dinner was only “thrown together” etc. Don’t you just long for them to express joy, laughter and a smile even now and again. Take for example you join a group of friends who are having a great time and you walk in with a long face, what effect will this have on the group? On the contrary, if you walk in to find this group down in the dumps and you approach them with a smile, you automatically make things look up. A smile releases endorphins, which give you a natural high. Whilst reading this think of a person or a place you love. Feel that inner smile.

Like I mentioned last week once you walk with an air of self-confidence, automatically you will act as a magnet, other people will want to join you, and speak with you. The same goes for wearing that smile. Smiling and positive speak will draw people towards you subconsciously.

Much of our mood comes down to feeling in control of what happens in our life. This determines how we deal with the unpleasant things that befall everyone. Positive people identify the stressor and take a problem-solving approach to deal with it. Others adopt what has been termed “learnt helplessness”. They come to believe that it does’nt matter what they do. What happens is beyond their control.

One temptation that besets many of us is to take ourselves so seriously that we begin to attach great weight to unimportant gestures. Humour is a wonderful tool for shaping us back down to size. So let’s be grateful for the gift of true humour wherever we encounter it. It gives us strength to continue on. Laughter does not mean carelessness. Each of us must make our way through these serious times, carefully ordering our priorities and doing what we need to do to safeguard our spiritual growth.

We can make of our experiences what we choose. We can focus on the traffic snarls while travelling to work or we can smile because we have a job to go to and a car to carry us there!! We can be angry because the washing machine broke down, or grateful that we’ve been free for a while of the laundry hassle! Every experience offers us an opportunity to respond, and our response is always a reflection of our emotions. We choose to be angry, depressed or afraid. We can just as easily decide to be happy or confident. And the exciting realization for us is that we are free to choose whatever pleases us. Even though we’ve gotten mad for years over traffic jams it does’nt mean we can’t give up the anger. How liberating it will be to claim back control of our positive emotions, our attitudes. You can decide to allow your mind/your thoughts to control you or you control them and put them to work positively for you. Censor your thoughts and banish the negative ones. It takes effort but it can be done. You don’t have to go around with a foolish grin on your face, but do experiment with that inner smile, it works wonders!

Once we take control of our situation and decide to make our decisions it is surprising how our lives can change for the better. It does appear easier to wallow and procrastinate and while most proverbs have a few grains of truth, “procrastination is the thief of time”. Also, as mentioned above not taking control, procrastination can be the cause of misery and guilt at the same time. We all know those people who are always meaning to do something but never quite get around to it, and regularly we see that person in the mirror?!

In conclusion, there is magic in believing in our capabilities at the moment, believing in our future potential, believing that we are worthy human beings with a purpose for being alive. However, the chance is present every moment to realize new dreams, to progress to new heights, to switch whatever course we are presently traveling on. All it takes is a changed attitude, commitment to a new idea, and the accompanying belief in the idea’s potential.

Any idea held in our mind can become a reality.

Do you feel you could do with realizing your ideas? No more procrastination. Are you inclined to see the glass half empty but would like to view it half full? Call me now and we can take the route to your brighter reality together

Contact Nuala at:

Monday, 17 August 2009

The Law of Perseverence

Perseverance conquers all obstacles!

Like the Law of Certainty, the Law of Perseverance is one of the secrets to making things happen! The person who is willing to continue, no matter what, succeeds.

The Law of Perseverance is the willingness to take actions every single day on your dreams and never stop. Even if these are little baby steps, every single day you make another step toward your dreams. The Law of Perseverance means, “Let neither pain nor pleasure interfere with perception of purpose.” You will be challenged in life. You will be ridiculed. You will be told you can’t succeed. Pay no attention. Pay attention to the vision you have! Hold on to that dream! Do not lose the dream. Those who lose their vision perish. Those who hold their vision conquer! It is the Law of Perseverance that makes things possible and makes all of your dreams come true. Never give up on your dreams. Follow the Law of Perseverance.

All that we are is the result of our thoughts.

-Buddha

Those who are the most energized and on track, however, are the ones who are heading toward an inspired destination, and working toward a defined purpose. These men and women organize their lives in the direction of their heartfelt inspirations. Consequently, everything takes on more meaning and becomes more fulfilling.

  • Follow the dream in your heart
  • Trust your heart, never deny it a hearing.
  • You already know the essence of the dream in your heart, but you may not know that you know it.
  • When you find yourself wavering and wandering, it’s a sign that you’ve tuned out the wise guidance from your heart and soul.
  • Your motivation miraculously increases once you begin to follow the dream in your heart.
There is no substitute for action. Begin now.

In persevering with the dream in your heart you’re bound to meet adversity along the way, maybe, but you’ll face challenges like these no matter which road you take. And since, no matter what you do, you’re guaranteed to experience both pain and pleasure in your life, you might as well choose the path that offers the most fulfillment and ultimately the most enlightenment.

Focus on your primary aim. The more you focus on your purpose or your primary aim for life, the more you attract the people, places, situations, and resources that can help you on your journey. In fact, staying focused on your primary aim, or ultimate purpose, is the most effective way to get there. You may be tempted to put more energy into the obstacles and diversions on your path than you put into your heartfelt mission. But if you do, attending to these obstacles and diversions, along with their temptations, could become a habit. This may lead you, sooner or later, to decide falsely that you can’t follow your dream. You don’t need to fall prey to this illusion! A tightrope walker is a great example of someone who keeps his or her eyes on their primary aim rather than just on the road ahead.

An obstacle is something you see when you take your eyes off the goal.

- Anonymous


When you know where you’re going, and you follow your heart and soul’s guidance, you’re certain to have a more fulfilling journey.

When you are not focused on your primary purpose, the winds of change and indecision can toss you about like a rowboat in a storm.

When you follow the dream in your heart
you are energized,
inspired,
and
motivated.

When you focus and persevere on your primary aim in life, you jump hurdles with ease.

When you focus on your healing, you heal.

When you follow the path of your inspirations, your body is strengthened, your mind is sharpened, and you are immersed in the healing power of unconditional love.

When was the last time you experienced a crisis? Did it seem like it was the end of the world? Did you feel helpless, frustrated, burnt-out or just down and depressed? Did you say to yourself, "This is the last straw. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired “ This has got to stop. I can't go another day like this."? If this has been you recently, then you better keep reading. Everyone experiences moments where outer circumstances appear to be an overwhelming crisis. To many, these circumstances dominate and rule their lives. To some, these crises leave lasting scars unless they are recognized as truly being blessings. When the worst crisis becomes your greatest blessing, you heal. Nature does not deliver a crisis without an accompanying opportunity or misfortune without a blessing.

Some people have crises that drag out for years. Others seem to nip their crises in the bud almost immediately. It's not the outer circumstances that necessarily create the crises. While they may elicit the crises, it is a person’s reaction that actually turns circumstances into deeper crises.

Hidden within all misfortunes are the seeds of an equal but opposite fortune. Like our current time in Ireland, in the mid 1980s, hundreds of thousands of people were let go or laid off from their jobs. Some of these people were left without income, some without other career opportunities and more, ultimately, without their families (due in the main to emigration). At first sight, this may have been perceived as a crisis, however, today many of those same people have undergone an in-depth soul-searching and re-evaluation of their lives, only to discover that they genuinely had a dream in their hearts to be, do and have something more than what they were previously experiencing and accepting. Other people have tapped into a more profound purpose for their life than what they were allowing, and are now making their meaningful dreams come true. They are now doing exactly what they always loved to do but never had the guts to do until the crisis occurred.

Crisis are the flip side of the coin of life. Many people have been temporarily devastated by broken relationships only to discover at some later time that their supposed misfortune was a blessing. Their very loss was their ultimate gain.

"Whenever a door shuts, a window opens".

Why should you journey alone? If you are feeling like a little support in taking action on your journey towards your ideal goal

Why not call me, Nuala at: 087 2532675
Or
e.mail to: info@nualaduignanlifecoach.com
Or view my web page at:
www.nualaduignanlifecoach.com
www.linkedin.com/in/nualaduignanlifecoach

Who’s to be blame?

David Jones takes an alternative look at the current economic crisis and asks who is to blame for what is happening...

It’s human nature to look for someone to blame when something goes wrong. Amazing thing is; it’s always someone else’s fault. Whatever happened to the honest ‘fair cop guv’nor’ response to getting caught with your fingers in the till?

“It wasn’t me; it wasn’t my fault,” is the automatic reaction to everything bad that happens nowadays. Husbands are driven to infidelity by their wives frigidity. It’s not their fault they’re unfaithful; they can’t help themselves. Wives take lovers because their husband is uncaring, or they’re getting a bit over the hill and want to feel young again; but it’s not their fault, they’ve got an excuse. Vandals commit mindless crimes because society has let them down; people do reckless, even horrible things, because they’re under pressure. It’s not their fault. They can’t help themselves; they’re victims.

“Who could blame them? Wouldn’t you do the same thing if you were in their shoes?” is the sympathetic response we so often get from liberal minded neighbours, friends, work-colleagues and so on.

The current economic crisis that threatens to destroy society as we know it, is no different. Half a million people in Ireland may be on the dole queues by Christmas, but it no one’s fault. Certainly no Government Minister is to blame. It’s a worldwide problem; it started in America. The Irish Government can’t control the value of the Euro against Sterling; it’s not our Government’s fault Eastern European labour costs are less than ours.

The Government’s blameless. They’ve only been in power for the last 12 years, haven’t they? They gave us the Celtic Tiger, didn’t they? That was their achievement, wasn’t it? They took all the credit for it, didn’t they? But the Celtic collapse? Sure that’s nothing to do with them, is it?
It’s the Banks; they’re to blame. They lent too much money to property developers. They gave out irresponsible mortgages to first time buyers and pushed up house prices. They got greedy and paid themselves massive bonuses. It’s their fault; they didn’t know what they were doing.
But I thought we had a Government appointed Regulator? Didn’t the Government, through the local authorities, organise zoning that inflated building land prices? Didn’t the Government establish tax incentives to encourage property developers? And didn’t the Government profit enormously from stamp duty on over-priced houses?

No, no, I remember now; it’s the Golden Circle. They’re to blame. How could a Chinese restaurant cause all these problems? No silly, the Golden Circle isn’t a Chinese Restaurant; it’s a group of fat-cat bankers and property developers that hang around the Fianna Fail tent at the Galway races. Nothing to with the Government you know.

Maybe I’ve got it all wrong. Maybe it was the Banks’ fault after all. Sure didn’t they seduce ordinary, decent folk with bucket loads of money to spend on furniture, flat-screen TV’s, 4X4’s, designer handbags, extensions, attic conversions, conservatories, holidays in the Costas, debs dances, stretch limos, fake tans and so on. The poor innocent consumer surely wasn’t to blame. They didn’t know what they were doing. They weren’t used to having money to spend; their parents probably didn’t even have a bank account when they were young.

How could Mr and Mrs Average and their kids be expected to know they were acting irresponsibly spending all that money they didn’t really have, on things they didn’t really need? Even worse, how could they be expected to realise, all that easy money they naively borrowed would have to be paid back, even if things turned bad? Sure they couldn’t know that; they were only pawns in someone else’s game.

Blaming the Government and keeping them on their toes is the Opposition’s job. The warnings from Fine Gael and Labour that we should halt the Celtic Tiger were deafening, weren’t they? Can anyone remember one Opposition spokesman, or anyone else in authority for that matter, whose policy was that we really shouldn’t be having it so good?

Hang on a sec; maybe we are all getting paid a bit too much? Maybe that’s why prices in Ireland are so much dearer than everywhere else in Europe? Maybe it’s our high wage rates that are making our manufacturing uncompetitive? Maybe we’ve too many people employed in non-productive jobs? I’ve no wish to pick on the public sector; but what exactly do the 350,000 people working there all do?

But those are unfair questions. The Government looks after things like public sector recruitment and minimum wage rates. They’re to blame for our sky high costs. Sure you could hardly expect ordinary people to take a drop in wages or work a bit harder for less pay to make us more competitive and save our jobs, could you?

So it really is the Government’s fault after all. Thank god for that. For a moment I thought it might just be our fault; that we might have to share some part of the blame. Sure didn’t we vote the Government into office? Well some of us did. 857,000 of us gave a first preference vote to Fianna Fail. That’s it; they’re the ones to blame; all 857,000 0f them.

Then again, maybe it’s the Greens? They’re the Coalition partners that are keeping the two Brian’s in power. It’s their fault.

But what of those of us who didn’t vote? What responsibility does the headless chicken that was so busy chasing the Celtic Tiger’s tail, that he couldn’t find the time to vote, have for the mess we’re all in today? What about the lazy good for nothing that couldn’t be bothered to turn out in the General Election; what role did he play in creating this disaster that befalls us all?
Surely the absentees can’t be blamed, can they? Doesn’t not getting involved absolve you from all responsibility?

Like hell it does. We live in a democracy. People fought and died so we could have a say in what’s going on. The freedom to vote is as much a responsibility as it is a right. Sitting on the fence doesn’t excuse you from what’s going on all around you? You’re as culpable as if you were doing it yourself.

If we’re really honest; isn’t it time we stopped blaming the Government, stopped blaming the bankers and stopped blaming the property developers? While we’re at it, maybe we should stop blaming everyone else but ourselves? Perhaps it’s time all of us started taking some responsibility for what’s going on? Isn’t it about time we all stood up to be counted? Hiding out in the silent majority won’t improve things very much, will it?

So let each and everyone of us accept our share of responsibility for what’s going on, and let’s all play our part in helping to sort it out.

We’ve a new President in the United States. He’s been likened to John F Kennedy in that he has an honest desire to change things. Well JFK’s words might never have been more appropriate than they are today; “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what can you do for your country?”

It’s not someone else’s problem anymore; it’s yours. It’s your country they’re messing up, not someone else’s!

Copyright © David Jones, 2009

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